


Even Moonlight Can't Cure Grief

by starmelee



Series: The Legend of the Dragoon [1]
Category: The Legend of Dragoon
Genre: Angst, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PTSD babey, Polyamory, Post-Canon, a cool horse named Phoenix which is technically a pun, and while that makes me very sad it has not discouraged me, dealing with grief, fuck dead fandoms let's bring this bitch back, mentions of unrequited love, or.. well... attempted polyamory but y'all know how it goes, should I tag this as major character death? he's already dead and I didn't kill him so..., technically canon compliant if you wince at it a bit, this is a fic for a fandom that doesn't exist anymore, world reset
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23925301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starmelee/pseuds/starmelee
Summary: Albert found himself outside almost every night, a slave to the darkness of his own thoughts. Unable to process the grief of his fallen lover, his mind goes in circles, winding endlessly. That is, until a familiar face reenters the picture.
Relationships: (Past) Albert/Lavitz Slambert, (Past) Dart Feld/Lavitz Slambert, Albert/Dart Feld
Series: The Legend of the Dragoon [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1724647
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	1. Ripples

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Writing for a dead fandom? It's more likely than you think. The tag for this fandom disappointed me so I decided to whip in my favorite WIP and see what happens. Probably nothing, but this fic absolutely slaps, so, who's laughing now?

For Albert, grief was a stutter in his heart, the prickling of his eyes as he tried to hold back tears. Grief was staring out of the window, a small portrait in his white-knuckled grip, as he tried to move on. 

Lavitz would not want him to grieve in such misery. He would ask Albert to remember the times where he kicked his ass during training, or when they played pranks on his poor mother. The time when he had snuck Albert out of the castle to take him to a local bar. 

And yet, he stared into the forest beyond the Castle of Basil, the balcony and the world quiet in the dull sounds of the late evening. 

He remembered the way Dart held Lavitz when he died. He remembered how hard his knight had fought until the very end. He remembered the moments they had shared before he had left, arms enveloping each other and the gentle press of a kiss to the top of his head. An unspoken promise that they would be together again. 

It was a shame Albert was going to have to wait so long. 

He sat in the chair that he’d placed on the balcony outside of the throne room upon returning to the castle. The world may have started anew, but they all remembered what had transpired. Their stones had been destroyed, but their memories would remain with them for the rest of their lives. 

Dart and Shana had gone back to Seles to see what had become of their own home in the recreation of the world. While Dart had tried to place his feelings aside and try a relationship with her, they had grown romantically distant in the months that followed. While Dart no longer had a purpose to travel for, he still left Seles, and Shana, to explore. 

Haschel had returned home, opting to see if his daughter had returned. He had written to Albert saying that, while she hadn’t, he was happy to be amongst his students again. 

Kongol remained in the castle, happy to be a guard and watch over others. He was prone to assisting drunkards return home, perhaps in thanks to the one who had blessed him with his stone in the world Before. Albert wasn’t sure when he slept, but he was grateful for such a positive influence on his kingdom, nonetheless. 

Meru, like Dart, traveled the world. However, she was looking for fights and for fans as she professionally danced for others. She performed in Basil the most, however, having stopped in once a month since their group had finally, officially, parted ways. She was the life of the party still, and he was grateful for her sharp wit and advanced cheer.

Miranda had returned to her home as soon as possible, stating that her duty to her world was over, and now her purpose was once again to serve the Queen, Theresa. She had never managed to grow especially close with any of them, but some part of Albert knew that she had been anxious to return to her home. Perhaps out of discomfort with them, or maybe there was another reason that Albert had no business knowing.

Rose had not returned with them, but as a dragoon from the original Campaign, he had not expected her to. 11,000 years was a long time to suffer through life, though she had the ache of grief to keep her going, as well. Her disappearance had not surprised him, especially not after she had revealed her romantic ties to Zieg, Dart’s father. Somehow, he knew neither of them would return, but wherever they were, he and Dart both agreed they were happily together. 

Albert lived in Basil as its ruler, still, despite how the war and his time as a dragoon had shaped him. He never had proper time to mourn his best friend and lover during their journey, and despite his strong words to Dart, the pain echoed within him. Now, it was literally painful with its reverberating volume, threatening to swallow him whole when he wasn’t busy talking with his advisors or trying to listen to his people during hearings. 

Despite the darkness of night, he had to close his eyes against the brightness that seemed to make them ache. However, closing his eyes did not relieve him of the sensation, only made the tears begin to flow. A wet sob shuddered through him and escaped his lips, his fingers instantly slamming up to his mouth to prevent another sound to escape into the world beyond. Should news get out that he was crying on his balcony from any late-night straggler, there would be questions. Albert was so very sick of questions. 

Lavitz’s laugh crossed his mind then. Other instances where he had been worried about town-talk and prying eyes. His partner had always laughed in the face of it. “I am of noble blood as you are, how could they not adore us in our entirety? A pair of handsome, noble men, taking care of the noble task of being in love. There is no greater honor, your majesty.”

More tears flowed as a choked laugh got caught on his fingers. Lavitz had always been funny like that, so very arrogant but strikingly earnest. He was filled to the brim with kindness and acceptance, unlike any other man (or person, for that matter,) that Albert had ever known. 

The only other person who came close to understanding was Dart, who, according to his last letter, was at Illisa Bay, where he and Rose had ended up when they had fallen from the Phantom Ship. 

He knew that Dart and Lavitz had carried chemistry between them, and had given Lavitz his approval when they had come to visit him after Hellena. They had always been like that, with an equal understanding that love was not typically restricted to one person. 

Lavitz had been excited to allow Dart to get to know Albert, and even in his absence, the two of them had worked and gotten along rather well. They had even shared a few nights together, though that was more out of desperation for something, anything, good before they were forced to face the end of their world. Albert had comforted Dart when he discovered that it was the shell of his father that they had to fight. They had a mutual respect for each other, but Dart was not ready for a commitment like a relationship. He needed time for his freedom before he could be prepared to settle. 

Lavitz had been much the same, though he and Albert had made it work to the best of their abilities. If only he could have helped Lavitz remain with them, even if it meant never experiencing being a dragoon for himself. Lavitz had been far more deserving. 

His throat ached with the sobs he refused to release, yet they bubbled forth anyway, his body shuddering against the force of the world. 

The moon’s full luster did not mock him as he cried in her gentle cradle, new and whole without a companion to haunt her. Where one is left to herself, the other is accompanied. 

Albert had set his grief aside for months as they fought that bloody war. And now, the bone-deep sorrow hung over him, latched to his body with an inky blackness that he could not scrub away no matter how frequently he bathed or how hard he scrubbed. It had sunk into his skin, like the tattoos that Kongol was so fond of, yet lacking the deep meaning and consent behind them. The grief sat on his skin, suffocating him, making it harder to move, to breathe, to think. 

Even after months of sitting on this balcony, whether it be wrapped in a shawl, in the embrace of his favorite cape, or in his nightclothes, he still cried just as hard as he had at the beginning, and still felt the heavy weight of the darkness on his body.


	2. Spring Air, Crisp Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoenix made it so easy for him to leave the thoughts behind, but he still insisted on following familiar paths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, squinting at my Google Doc: Yeah I have enough for a second and third chapter. Is it finished? No? But no one is going to read this as religiously as I would, anyway. 
> 
> ... Thanks to Parzi for being my largest supporter and my writing inspiration. You're the absolute best <3

He remained outside until dawn. Not having changed from his clothes into his nightwear, he rose silently: a ghost as he wove his way through the hallways and stairwells until he reached his tower. His guards were often sleeping at this time, so he paid them no mind as he opened one of the double-doors (the one that did not squeak,) and entered his room, not letting the handle go so he could avoid it clicking shut behind him. 

He sighed as he sorted through his closet and grabbed his outfit for the day: dark brown trousers, a cream shirt, black boots, and a green vest. He did not like to change the style of his clothing, preferring to only wear what he would be comfortable fighting in. He set the clothes aside and entered a bathing chamber attached to his room. They had managed to get a plumbing system that worked utilizing magic, so they had working showers even on the highest tower on the castle. The privacy it gave him was immensely valuable, and the wizard who had approached him with the idea was handsomely rewarded. 

He let the hot water run over his tired body, closing his eyes and trying to pretend that it wasn’t there. He washed away what small amounts of dirt he carried, but the sludge would not recede no matter how long he remained under the spray of water. 

However, he had managed to wash the exhausted look off of his face, he noticed as he observed himself in the mirror. He made quick work of the stubble that had grown in over the last day or so before changing into his outfit. He had a fairly small list of things to do that day and would be finished before dusk, which left him plenty of time for a ride into the forest. Taking his horse, Phoenix, out for rides always seemed to clear his head for a good amount of time, even if he did end up on that balcony once more. 

When his maid brought him breakfast, she greeted him with a pleasant smile, setting the silver platter down on his bedside table. 

“Good morning, King Albert! I’ve brought you your favorite, an omelet, just as you enjoy it, with some potatoes and a cup of strong tea. The sugar is on the tray, as usual,” her voice always held such a cheerful tone that reminded him of Meru, and he smiled pleasantly to her. 

“Thank you, Del. Please, tell the kitchen staff that they deserve to make themselves anything they want. The kitchen resources are theirs to use, whether it be for myself, the knights, or for themselves and the rest of the staff. And have a lovely day, if I don’t manage to spot you later this afternoon or at dinnertime.” 

Delphine nodded, a grin on her face as she lifted her skirts to curtsey before she headed for the door. “I bid you a day of warmth, your highness.”

A day of warmth, hm? He considered his omelet for a moment before cutting into his meal with complacency. Once he was full and his tea had been drained, he released a sigh. He could manage today like he had managed every other day. Now it was time to prove it.

The meetings were drab, the problems of his people not fickle, but easy to resolve with fairness. No offense to his people, but oftentimes he felt as though they could easily settle these disputes with the local guards rather than hike up their trousers and skirts to approach his throne room. 

However, once his schedule was free, he practically ran to the stable and threw a bit on his horse, saddling her up as fast as he could. He ignored the shocked stares of the stablehand as he flurried through fastening buckles and adjusting his stirrups. He even checked each of Phoenix’s hooves before he stepped into his stirrup and swung his other leg over her back. He fastened his green cape around his shoulders and pulled up the hood, the stablehand clearing the path for him before he took off. 

His favorite part of Basil was the spring weather. The air was perfectly crisp in the early season; and, despite the chill, some trees had already started to flower with the soft pink blossoms that he loved. It was easy to forget himself among the new, budding leaves and the glory of the daffodils already rising from the ground. 

Phoenix tore her way down the open path, excited to be out for a ride in the now defrosted forest. The sound of hooves and gently swaying trees allowed him to tuck the sadness away, and he let out a laugh when his hood blew off of his head and his long braid billowed with his cape in the wind. 

Albert eventually pulled on the reins and leaned back on his saddle, Phoenix slowing down underneath of him until she was at a pleasant trot. Her gait was smooth as they turned the next corner, his smile not fading. He gave Phoenix a few loving pats with his one hand, the other still holding the reins. Grey hair stuck itself to his black gloves, not that he cared. 

Despite her name, Phoenix was a dappled grey, a stubborn mare but one that he adored. He had raised her from just after her mother had stopped feeding her to adulthood. In the world Before, of course. Though, many rules still applied in this one. 

He slowed her to a walk as they approached a group of travelers, his heart beating heavily as he cast his gaze to the side and threw his hood back up before they saw him. He was still the king, after all. To be caught joyriding on his own could mean a fight, and all he had was the long knife in his boot. His spears and lances were tucked away in the armory and in his room, and while he was proficient with almost any hand-held weapon, he would rather fight with his preferred arm. 

The travelers passed without issue, regardless, and he carried on through the woods at the upbeat trot he’d had Phoenix at before. They eventually reached a fork in the road with a subtle path branching off to the far side, which he happily turned Phoenix down. She had to put some effort into preventing any brush-ups with twigs and branches, but Albert did his best to steer her correctly so she wouldn’t spook. He also removed his cape to prevent it from snagging.   
Eventually, they made it to a wide clearing with a tiny fort that was poorly built with heavy, loose stones. Albert was surprised that, after all these years, it still stood despite its poor structure and its shoddy, at best, positioning. Honestly, he'd always believed it was predispositioned to fall. 

Albert laughed at the tiny door that they’d failed to make and replaced with vines that they had grown from where the roof was supposed to be. It looked like those tiny houses that fathers sometimes built for their daughters to play in, but made of loose stone and not properly-fixed wood. Hopping off of Phoenix and letting her graze idly (she would never run off on him,) he walked up and brushed his fingers along the top of the damp walls. It must have rained in the forest earlier that day. 

He stepped over the most broken-down wall, trying to preserve the structure as best he could, and squatted down, looking where he remembered Lavitz and himself having carved their names. The scratched-in letters seemed fainter than they had fifteen years prior, but they were still there. He hadn’t even realized he was raising his hand until his fingers brushed across Lavitz’s name. 

They were cute back then, the two of them. Even if Lavitz was older, he was always willing to spend time with him. Albert remembered Lavitz just being so jovial, yet he could snap into seriousness any time he was needed. Everyone had always told him that he’d gotten it from his father. While Albert was not very familiar with Servi, he had to argue that it seemed more like something he got from his mother. Mrs. Slambert was a good woman who could be so silly and playful, but the moment someone earnestly approached her, she devoted herself to focusing on them and listening to them. She was a good mother. 

Albert was still too afraid to go and see her. 

He released a sigh when he heard Phoenix whinny somewhere to his left. “Yes, I suppose it’s time we head home.” It wasn’t late enough in the season that the sun was setting further into the night, and soon it would be dark. He stepped over the same crumbled wall and made his way to his horse, smiling at her as he patted her neck. 

Phoenix’s head swung up and she looked at him, then turned so she could nudge his body with her nose. Albert laughed, turning around, and she rubbed her face against his back. He’d foregone the vest before he left, so it was just a loose shirt, which she made even looser by tugging the bottom out of his pants. He stepped forward, chuckling to himself as he tucked his shirt back in. Albert picked up Phoenix’s reins and stilled her so he could hop back into his saddle, and tucked his cape in front of him so they could ride back through the overgrown path. It was starting to get cooler, so his cape would sit in front of him for ready access. 

The ride home was rather uneventful, and once Phoenix was stowed away, he gifted her with a treat in the form of an apple. She seemed happy enough, so he bid her and the stablehands good night., deciding to go through the kitchens to get up to his room, since entering from the front of the castle seemed too tedious. Plus, it allowed him to pick up the dinner he’d undoubtedly missed. The head chef, Mirelle, smiled at him and passed him a covered bowl of something that was still warm to the touch, as well as something else on top of it that was also covered. 

“My lord, if I may,” she said before he could leave. He turned to face her, suddenly realizing that the kitchen was entirely empty besides the two of them. 

“Yes, Mirelle?”

“I see the sting of grief in your eyes every day,” her smile fell as she looked into his eyes. “I know you have no one of which you’ve spoken to, and I am not asking you to speak to me, but every day his mother is asking after you. I will only suggest this as an old woman who has seen and experienced much— go see her. Talk to her about him. It may help you more than you think.” She reached out and held his chilled cheek in her warm hand. “You are not a boy anymore, but if you ever need anything, _please_ , come and see me.”

Mirelle had been around ever since he was a child, likely before that. She had always been tender toward him and Lavitz, slipping them sweets before dinner, or patching them up after they snuck out on an adventure in the castle gardens. She was more of a nanny than most of his nannies had been, and it was because of that alone that he did not grow insulted at her advice or confused at her tender attitude. 

“Of course, Mirelle. I will take that into consideration.” He bowed his head to her slightly and took a step back, turning so he could leave. “Thank you, for this,” he held up the food, “and for everything.” 

“Oh! And don’t forget these,” she scuttled up to him and placed utensils into his hand. “You’re very welcome, Your Royal Highness.” 

He chuckled at her. “You need only call me Albert when we are not in front of the other staff, my lady.” He bowed to her respectfully, balancing what was in his hands, before taking his leave, this time with no interruptions.

With her words coursing through his mind, he took to walking up the stairs with his meal and utensils. Perhaps she was right. He waved to his guards and stepped into his bed chambers, sighing. A visit to Lavitz's mother would likely do well for the both of them, but he wasn’t sure he would be able to face her without feeling the responsibility overtake him. 

The thought made him stop dead.


	3. Heal Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's sinking, Albert knows this well, but what if someone else knows, too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever just wait until the third chapter of your fic to introduce the main character of the video game you're writing about? Well.

Had he… did he truly think he was responsible? All things considered… it was his fault that he had been captured, and it was his fault that Lavitz had grown angry. 

Albert groaned as he set his meal down, suddenly not hungry. Was that why he couldn’t move on? It had to be so. 

Hesitantly, he stepped toward his window and gazed out at the darkening sky and the few stars that speckled it thus far. He suddenly longed to see Princess Lisa of Tiberoa. Perhaps her communication with the stars could allow him to more clearly interpret the events leading up to Lavitz’s death. Unfortunately, after he had given up his betrothal to Princess Emille, he feared returning there unless he was invited. Since then, Princess Emille had married the son of some important aristocrat from across the sea. Albert had been invited to the wedding but had foregone the event. In the reset of the world, many things had not changed, but no one ever noticed the differences that did occur. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, pressing his forehead to the cool glass. It would be a long night if he could not muster up the will to eat, but he had a feeling that he would not. At least, not until after the meal had gone cold. 

He moved and opened the window with the latches at the bottom and top, letting it swing outward. The chilled air hardly bothered him, as he still had his cape clasped on. He knelt on the floor and simply allowed himself to rest his head on the window sill. 

A hand on his shoulder had him quickly whipping around with an outstretched arm, causing the intruder to step back. 

Before Albert could get a good look at him, the person laughed. 

“Usually a king greets their guests with their words and not their fists.” 

“Well Dart, a king can never be too careful when an unannounced visitor decides to sneak into his bed chambers.”

“Touche, my friend.” Dart offers his hand and helps Albert up, smile still cutely adorning his features. Dart had a nice smile, Albert had once said to Lavitz, his lover firmly agreeing. “Sorry for sneaking up on you, but it seemed like a good opportunity. Are you okay?”

Dart, as dense as he was, also knew that Albert had been struggling since they returned. 

“I am as alright as I have been,” Albert said, pulling in his friend for a hug. “It is good to see you. Have your travels been treating you well?”

“Naturally,” Dart boasts, “I’ve won the competition for the greatest fighter in all of Serido and Tiberoa.” His arrogant grin faded to a more casual smile, “And I’ve had the pleasure of being welcomed into many homes to try new foods. New arenas to try new fighting styles. I am much more seasoned than I was a year ago.”  


Albert laughed quietly, shaking his head. “Of course. Dart Feld is an unstoppable force, with or without a magical stone. Pray tell, what has stopped your travels long enough to come here?”

“You have, I think,” Dart muttered, looking out the opened window. “I’ve been thinking a lot about our time in the world Before.”

Albert raised his eyebrow. “You know you needn’t think of anything that happened. We agreed that-”

“I know what we agreed,” Dart cut him off gently, “but I’ve been thinking ever since. Back of my mind, but it’s been there.” Their eyes met again and Dart took his wrist gently, leading him to sit down on the couch in the middle of the large room. 

Dart sat down next to him, releasing his wrist and staring into the potted plant resting nearby. 

“I think it was a large part of why I couldn’t convince myself to feel attracted to Shana. Well, that, and the fact that she’s always been more like a sibling. But anyway, I… I miss him. And I missed you.” His words were uncharacteristically soft-spoken, but Albert still felt his heart rate pick up. “I know it seems sudden, and we returned a year prior, but I think I’m ready now. If you’re ready, too, that is.” 

They sat in silence for a few moments before Dart turned to study his face. Albert wasn’t too sure what his expression was giving away as he was trying to process this. 

“I… Dart, of course, I’m ready. I just- you need to understand that I-” the sadness dripped down the back of his shirt and caused a chill to run down his spine. “I’m not sure if I’m the best choice right now.”

This time, it was Dart’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I… my grief over him. I don’t know how to move on,” his hands curled together at the center of his chest. “I’m not sure if I can get through this. Every day I endure this sense of loss more and more.”

Dart was silent for a few seconds but placed his hand on Albert’s shoulder. “I am not entirely sure that is an abnormal reaction, Albert.” At his question look, Dart continued, “We had to set everything aside so that we could fight until the end. Now, here we are, the world is in peace, and we have so little to truly do to distract ourselves. We didn't grieve him as we should have, and now, the remnants of those feelings aren’t covered by overarching responsibilities anymore.”  
As he considered Dart’s words, Albert knew that he was right. 

“And perhaps,” Dart added, “it is time that I settle down and take to helping someone dear to me and myself by staying with him. It will be easier to grieve with someone who understands by your side.” 

“Have you already done your processing then,” Albert asked, voice thick with the tears he refused to shed. 

“Not all of it,” his companion admitted, “but enough that I think helping you will help me, too.” 

They both thought about that for a few moments, the silence heavy, but not suffocating. The chill of his darkness seemed to warm where Dart’s hand rested, and Albert found himself needing more. 

“Then would you care to get into something more comfortable and lay with me? I’m rather exhausted, and I think some time actually laying in bed might be good for us.” 

He and Dart laid down together, Dart clearly enjoying the softness of a real bed for the first time in a long while. Dart wrapped him up in his strong arms and they stayed like that for a long time, awake, and then they stayed like that all night, asleep. It was the first time that Albert had slept for so long and comfortably since before they had returned, and it was the first night he had not wept beneath the moon. 

Waking up the next morning was no grand affair. He untangled himself from Dart’s secure hold and showered, humming to himself as he lathered up with his soap and eventually rinsed himself off, wrapped his waist in a towel, and poked his head outside of the bathroom when he heard voices. 

The cheerful tone of Delphine and the rough voice of early-morning Dart reached his ears, the two of them chatting pleasantly. He smiled as he stood back in front of his mirror, combing out his hair. 

Just as he was starting to tie it in a braid, Dart walked in. 

“I heard that Basil has the best magically-run plumbing system in the world. Can I shower?” Showers weren’t common, but they did have one when they visited Tiberoa upon their return. The Twin Castle was outfitted with all sorts of interesting things, that was for sure.

“Absolutely. The blue bottle is for your hair, the white one is for your body. Apparently, soaps are now a passion of some of my staff, and they insist upon it. With the magical plumbing being spread throughout the city, many people have developed new soaps. I find that liquid soap is my favorite.” 

Dart chuckled, nodding. “Of course. It does not surprise me that your people would take up a new hobby.” The people of the crown city did have a tendency to really throw themselves into new things. Albert liked to think their ambition and openness to change was something of a blessing. 

“As it shouldn’t.” He finished braiding his hair and exited the room, coming back once Dart was in the shower to throw a towel on the stand next to his tub.


End file.
